


Operation Get Jeonghan And Joshua To Fall In Love

by pinksunlight (orphan_account)



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Crack, M/M, anyways i just wrote this to kind of get a feel for crack again lmaoooo, like all of it tbh, questionable at best, they devise a plan and it's
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-25
Updated: 2020-07-25
Packaged: 2021-03-06 01:01:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,137
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25514713
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/pinksunlight
Summary: “We are all aware of the cruel injustices we’ve had to face because of Satan and Satan’s trophy husband, yes?”“Codenames don’t work if they’re obvious,” Seokmin mutters, still cupping his ears as if he isn’t normally the loudest one in the room. Soonyoung sends him a pointed look at which he sighs and replies monotonously, “Yes, we are aware.”or, in which soonyoung is drunk on power and suggests a betting pool to see who can get joshua and jeonghan together the fastest
Relationships: Hong Jisoo | Joshua/Yoon Jeonghan, Kwon Soonyoung | Hoshi/Chaos, Lee Jihoon | Woozi/Being Bad At Being Evil
Comments: 21
Kudos: 102





	Operation Get Jeonghan And Joshua To Fall In Love

**Author's Note:**

> disclaimer: i'm literally only posting this because i've had it lying around for so long. it's very possible that it won't go past what's written here!!! so please only read if you're okay with that lkdfjslkjdf

On a fine Tuesday afternoon, Mingyu uses Seungkwan’s entire bottle of special moisturizing cream on his feet because Seokmin bets $10 and his favourite hoodie on the morning of the same day that Mingyu can’t make Seungkwan mad to the point of exacting physical revenge. Needless to say, Mingyu walks into Seokmin’s room the next morning with bright pink hair and a smug grin on his face.

Somehow, the story gets out and with it – most of the other unfortunate occurrences that only really happened because one of the members couldn’t resist accepting a bet that one of the other members couldn’t resist suggesting. Soon enough, the industry’s forgotten about “self-producing idols” and have started using “17-month-olds with no impulse control”.

So yeah, Seventeen is notorious in the entertainment industry for making bets that all start with a bored member and all end with lighter wallets and unwarranted pride, and what about it? Sure, it was a little more convenient to hide the fact that Seungcheol has a tattoo of a crudely drawn dick on his scalp that he is completely unaware of when it was just between 12 people, but life is all about challenges, right?

(Jihoon had a tattoo gun. Jeonghan had a bottle of vodka. The rest of the members had a thirst for chaos. Wouldn’t it have been weirder if they hadn’t made some sort of bet? They told Seungcheol he was hungover when he complained about his head hurting the next morning. If he ever finds out, Jeonghan gets to kiss Jihoon once everyday for the rest of his life. Jihoon has sent death threats to everyone in the industry who knows of the incident to keep their _goddamn mouths shut or I swear to Bumzu himself that you will never see the light of day again._ )

This is all a very long-winded way of saying that, yes, Seventeen loves making bets that never needed to be made in the first place. And this is how, one day, in the midst of their promotion schedules when everyone is sleep-deprived and on the verge of figurative death, the catalyst for a brand-new disaster – commonly known as Kwon Soonyoung - revives (most of) the members of Seventeen.

He walks into the waiting room with an obnoxiously noble expression before exclaiming, “I’M A GENIUS AND EVERYONE SHOULD BE MY SERF.”

“Yes, master,” Jun murmurs sleepily as he shifts to curl into a better position on the couch. Soonyoung throws him a look of disgust before producing an airhorn from seemingly nowhere and blasting it so that everyone starts screaming all at once.

Soonyoung smiles. Music can be such a beautiful and personal thing. Sometimes it’s guitar strumming and gentle piano melodies, sometimes it’s the screams of pure agony as 10 pairs of eardrums are violently assaulted.

Either way – beautiful.

When everyone is up and ready to listen, Soonyoung begins his speech that he literally just came up with when he was in the bathroom a couple of minutes ago.

“We are all aware of the cruel injustices we’ve had to face because of Satan and Satan’s trophy husband, yes?”

“Codenames don’t work if they’re obvious,” Seokmin mutters, still cupping his ears as if he isn’t normally the loudest one in the room. Soonyoung sends him a pointed look at which he sighs and replies monotonously, “Yes, we are aware.”

“Don’t you all think it’s about time we get back at them? Find ways to make their lives particularly difficult? They may be older than most of us,” at this he shoots finger-guns at Seungcheol, “but if we combine all of our ages, we’re technically older than them so this is okay.”

Minghao raises his hand, a dry expression on his face, “That’s not how age works, dude.”

“Listen smartass, do you want to hear my plan or not? This is the bet of a fucking lifetime!”

At the word “bet”, there is a noticeable shift in the energy of the room. The air stills. Everyone is more alert. One of the staff members on the side puts in a pair of headphones and begins to meditate.

There’s a legend about this audio meditation guide specifically made for when Seventeen is being insufferable that all the staff have access to. Soonyoung’s pretty sure it’s called something like “Just Think Of The Insurance Policy”, but he’s still not sure if it exists.

He turns his attention back to his members sans Joshua and Jeonghan, and rubs his hands together, a wicked grin blooming on his face. “Okay, listen up, losers.”

They write a manifesto. Well, it’s a barely legible list written on an old sock Chan finds in the deepest crevices of the living room couch (Mingyu almost starts shrieking) - but they call it a manifesto. It reads as follows:

  1. Everyone will be instigators in the “Get Jeonghan And Joshua To Fall In Love” mission. (Wonwoo is allowed to name the operation, Soonyoung is less than pleased.)



Each member will be actively trying to get them to (a) kiss (b) go on a date or (c) have sex. Holding hands or hugging doesn’t count because, as Seungkwan puts it, “if that’s what falling in love is then I’m married to 12 people.” It’s an effective argument.

  1. Each member will give an approximate time frame in which they think Operation GJAJTFIL (god, Soonyoung hates Wonwoo) will come to fruition. Soonyoung will be in charge of keeping track of this information. If the member is correct, they’ll be able to ask for anything they want from everyone else and no one can refuse.
  2. If Operation GJAJTFIL is ongoing and a member’s date is passed over, they are at the mercy of the next person older than them (Seungcheol gets Seungkwan) and that person can use them as a pawn in _their_ efforts to win. (This is the only thing Vernon contributes to their entire conversation: and it’s fucking genius.)
  3. If Gentleman(?) and (fallen) Angel begin to pick up on their plan, all evidence will be destroyed. No one is to speak of the bet ever again. (Soonyoung has a faraway look in his eyes as he dictates this, the members don’t want to know why).



When the Manifestoe (“Because it’s written on a sock, get it guys?” “Jun, I love you, but go stand in that corner for the next 20 minutes and reflect on the importance of thinking before you speak.”) is completed, Soonyoung carefully transfers it to a drawer and hides it under a mountain of boxers. They’re gathered in his room, their last promotion schedule having ended a couple of hours ago. From now on, they have about a month to relax until work starts up again. Jihoon has a wicked gleam in his eyes and despite being the quietest among the commotion of the Manifestoe creation, he claps his hands together the loudest and grins, all grinch-like. Soonyoung sees Minghao literally shiver.

“Alright,” he says slyly, “let the games begin.”

Here’s the thing about Jeonghan and Joshua: they’re evil and a half when they team up together in the presence of the members, but when they’re alone together they could be mistaken for the quietest members. Everything about them is short of silent, and the members still haven’t been able to figure out how two people can code-switch so effortlessly.

When they’re alone, Jeonghan’s voice is barely above a whisper and already soft-spoken Joshua grows even more so. This results in the two spending a lot of their alone time very, very close to each other – if only because they need to be able to hear each other to actually “hang out”. Jihoon has seen this phenomenon with his very own eyes. He was returning to the practice room with a drink for his parched throat but just as he was about to enter, he caught a glimpse of the oldest members of the vocal team with their heads together, talking softly about something on one of their phones.

There was nothing to it, they were only talking. But it was their smiles. It was the way their eyes spoke to each other more than their mouths did. It was the way Joshua, who sometimes found it tough to accept too much skinship, let Jeonghan’s hands wrap around his neck, his arm, his fingers, stroke his hair, his knee. It was the way Jeonghan, who was infamous for his grudges, merely laughed when Joshua pulled an annoyed face and flicked his forehead, amused.

This is where his inspiration stems from. You see, Jihoon has bet 5 weeks. Now, before you say anything, hear him out. He figures the two are already head over heels for another. Unlike the other members, Jihoon considers himself to be quite observant, and he’s seen enough to assume that all Jeonghan and Joshua, (or, Jihan, as Dino excitedly exclaimed as they were writing the Manifestoe) need is a little push to really make things official. Of course, he must be careful. Vernon bet 2 weeks. Jihoon thinks that he really does keep his ears open.

So, on the very next day after the bet is officially put into action, Jihoon makes his move. When he walks into the living room, Jeonghan is already conveniently sprawled over the couch in a position that has to be at least a little uncomfortable. He’s scrolling through his phone aimlessly. Jihoon clears his throat and he can almost hear Soonyoung cackling at how unnatural he sounds.

Jeonghan looks up, eyes a little bleary. “Oh, hey. What are you doing up so early?”

 _Trying to win a bet that could make my life at least 900% better._ “Internal clock, I guess. Why are you up?”

“Joshua.” It’s said in a resigned voice, and Jeonghan is already looking back at his phone as Jihoon snaps his head to look at him. His voice cracks as he barely holds back from screaming, “What?”

He tries again, at a lower volume. “Is something, uh, wrong? Do you want to… tell me?”

At this, Jeonghan put his phone down completely and stares at him curiously. Rule 4 of the Manifestoe echoes in Jihoon’s mind and he starts laughing awkwardly, grabbing whatever he can get his hands on from the kitchen while saying, “I mean, haha, not really. I just came out for a snack, you… I… yeah. Ha.”

“…Jihoon.”

“Yes?”

“Are you planning on eating an entire jar of uncooked rice with a ladle?”

So, it doesn’t go well.

Jihoon doesn’t want to talk about it.

Vernon think he’s got this in the bag. All he has to do is get them to kiss. How hard can it be?

Then, Jihoon comes to him a few days after the bet and asks him if he’s out of his goddamn mind.

Vernon would be offended, but he gets distracted halfway through the conversation and really only hears bits and pieces of what’s being said to him.

“You only have, like, a week left. What are you going to do?” Vernon gives Jihoon a skeptical look, leaning back in his chair as he does so. The recording room’s lights are dimmed, but he can make out Jihoon’s dejected glare at the floor.

“Why are you asking me? Aren’t you after me? Shouldn’t you be… _not_ rooting for me?” In a couple of minutes, Vernon gets a very clear answer almost yelled at him. Okay, so apparently Jihoon thinks he’ll never win – not because he doesn’t think Jihan will get together – but because he’s terrible at acting. Like, yes-I’m-going-to-eat-this-jar-of-uncooked-rice-with-a-ladle-Jeonghan-I’m-a-growing-boy bad. This is when, extremely reluctantly, Jihoon mutters, “I’m requesting an alliance.”

“Oh?” Vernon’s ears are wide open now.

“2 weeks is too little, if you help me win in 5 weeks, we can come up with something together to make the members do. I can’t do this alone.” Despite the dark cloud over Jihoon’s face, Vernon nods placidly.

“Alright, why not? This would’ve been boring alone anyways.”

Somehow, after a lot of contemplation (because the members never think on the spot when they’re actually making a bet – that would be absolutely ridiculous), everyone except Soonyoung makes a large team. They figure that when they win, they can all come up with something collectively for Soonyoung. The time limits range from 1-6 months, so they’re all very comfortable. Soonyoung (7 months) is kept in the dark about the whole thing because Jihoon is almost 99% sure that he would refuse to accept the alliance – especially since they were teaming up against him. The specifics of what they’ll do when they win are still a little rough, but they decide to cross that bridge when they reach it.

And just like that, they have all the time in the world to win Operation GJAJTFIL. Well, up to 6 months, but that’s a long ass time.

**Author's Note:**

> i need to re-activate my funny bone
> 
> [twt](https://twitter.com/punksunlight)


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